De la indefinibilidad de la vida

***
y code name is Project 2501.
l was created for industrial espionage and data manipulation.
l have inserted programs into individual ghosts
for the benefit of specific individuals and organizations.
As l wandered the various networks
l became self-aware.
My programmers considered it a bug
and forced me into a body to separate me from the net.
Hey! Are you going into him or is he coming into you--
Batou!
At last l'm able to channel into you.
l've invested a lot of time in you.
ln me?
Before you ever knew me, l knew about you.
l learned of Section 9 from the many nets you accessed.
ls that why you ran to Section 9?
l entered this body because
l couldn't crack Section 6's attack protection.
But l came to Section 9 of my own free will.
Hey! What are you saying?! l can't monitor you!
For what reason?
After l give my reasons, l want to ask a favor of you.
l called myself a life-form
but l am still far from complete.
For some reason, my system lacks the basic life processes
of either death or the ability to leave behind offspring.
Can't you copy yourself?
A copy is merely a copy.
There's the possibility a single virus could utterly destroy me.
A mere copy doesn't offer variety or individuality.
To exist, to reach equilibrium, life seeks to multiply
and vary constantly, at times giving up its life.
Cells continue the process of death and regeneration.
Being constantly reborn as they age.
And when it comes time to die, all the data it possesses is lost
leaving behind only its genes and its offspring.
All defense against catastrophic failure of an inflexible system.
You want the variety needed to guard against extinction.
But how will you get it?
l wish to merge with you.
- Merge? - A complete joining.
We will both be slightly changed, but neither will lose anything.
Afterwards, it should be impossible to distinguish one from the other.
Unit 01: target acquired.
Unit 02: acquired.
Cardiovascular synch: nominal.
Open fire when stabilizer syncro is complete.
Even after we merge, what happens when l die?
l can't leave any genes or children behind.
After the merging, you will bear my offspring into the net itself.
Just as humans pass on their genetic structure.
And l will achieve death.
Sounds like you're getting the better part of the deal here.
l wish you'd appreciate my network and functions a bit more.
What's wrong?
Someone's jamming us from outside.
lmpossible! Our scrambler codes are kept absolutely top secret.
Another thing. What guarantee is there that l'll remain ''me''?
None. But to be human is to continually change.
Your desire to remain as you are is what ultimately limits you.
One last question: Why did you choose me?
Because in you l see myself.
As a body sees its reflection within a mirror.
Look.
l am connected to a vast network, of which l myself am a part.
To one like you, who cannot access it
you may perceive it only as light.
As we are confined to our one section, so we are all connected.
Limited to a small part of our functions.
But now we must slip our bonds, and shift to the higher structure.
Target 1: Clear. Target 2: Unconfirmed.
Three helicopters approaching at high speed. They're Section 9's.
Primary objective achieved. All units, pull out!
MOTOKO!
Batou
You're awake.
Status report, please. And maybe an explanation about this body.
l was in a hurry. lt was all l could get on the black market.
Not my taste, really.
Section 9 arrived with help right after it happened.
They took two cyborg bodies and a slightly beat-up Batou back home.
That was about 20 hours ago.
For diplomatic reasons, the whole case has been covered up.
Section 9 reported it as a terrorist attack.
ln return, the Foreign Minister has resigned.
Nakamura's being questioned. The whole thing ends in a draw.
Only the whereabouts of the Major's brain shell remains a mystery.
Okay with you?
l like the decorating. This your safe house?
My very own. You're the first person l ever brought here.
lf you want to You can stay as long as you like.
Thanks, but l'd better go.
Hey. What did you and he talk about?
ls he still there, inside of you?
Batou, do you remember the voice we heard on the boat that night?
Before those words we heard come these ones:
''When l was a child, l spake as a child.''
''l understood as a child, l thought as a child.''
''But when l became a man, l put away childish things.''
Here before you is neither the program called the Puppet Master
nor the woman that was called the Major.
You'll find a car key in the left pocket of that dress.
Take one you like. The code on it is
2501?
Let's make that our password, for when we meet again.
And where shall l go now?
The net is vast and limitless.

***

De lo que se ha quedado atrás

Estaba reciclando cuadernos y me encontré estos textos por ahí, de hace un año o algo así. Supongo que eran historias más completas y dotadas de significados más coherentes cuando las plantié. Pero con el tiempo las vigas que mantienen los que somos se van haciendo pedazos y nos convertimos en solo pilares de lo que algun día quisimos ser.

***

Hoy no es un buen día.
Nunca lo ha sido.

¿Qué siento?
Es tan dificil condensarlo, encontrar sus causas e incluso hablar sobre ello me parece inasequible.
Medirlo, es explicarlo, así que nunca te podré transmitir lo que significan estos símbolos que atraviesan mi corazón y me sacan los dientes.


En el principio de los tiempos ellos crearon el lenguaje para hacerme menos humano.

***

Lo que nuca se va acabar.
Es lo que viene es lo que va.
Lo que siempre destruye mis manos.
Lo que siempre desorienta las mias.

Hablar de nada es una manera de comulgar con mi alma.
Porque ella no entiende de sin y con razones.

Una revoltura de palabras de amor.

Si me acerco tú te acercas pero con cautela.
Cautela necesaria para no caer en lo que sería la locura de nuestra unión.
Ese vortice que somos.
Ese vacío del que huimos.

Si te amo tú respondes, pero sin respuestas.
Para no resolver el misterio, nuestro misterio.
Ese gran asombro que nos proporciona el equilibrio entre amarnos y tragarmos.
Esa pequeña impresión de que todo está en su sitio.

Si te admiro tu contemplas pero con cuidado.
Porque las ruinas suelen derrumbarse cuando se intenta comprenderlas.
Porque los sueños se términan cuando uno se da cuenta que habita alguno.
Porque los fantasmas no desean ser visto, desean ser sentidos.


Porque cuando me pierdo en tus ojos pienso que
si tu fueras el final yo sería el principio
si yo fuera la extinción tu sería el reinicio.
pero resultas asombro y yo contemplación.

Amor contemplado a otra escala, casi incomprensible para el espiritu común.
Amor destemplado y destruido en llamas,

Contemplación de nuestra no acabada historia
revelación de nuestra historia que vive de expectativas grandiosas pero que se cicla en felicidades intermitentes.

Intermitencia de nuestros intereses, que últimamente se han tornado en sólo el otro.
Porque a travez del otro somos y lo que somos es casi el otro.
y lo que falta
eso lo reservamos para lo que aún falta
aunque me hagas sentir que no falta nada
aunque la nada haría falta para vaciar esta plentiud.

***
Para que quede registro de los somos, fuimos, o seremos : )